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    • Home
    • About Us
    • Services
    • Resources
      • Domestic Violence
      • Sexual Assault
      • Stalking
      • Children and Violence
      • Teen Dating Violence
      • Safety Planning
      • Legal
      • Help Someone You Know
    • Events
    • Volunteer
    • Contact Us
    • Donate
    • Employment Opportunities
    • Client Survey
    • Kenna's Clothing Closet

EN

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Services
  • Resources
    • Domestic Violence
    • Sexual Assault
    • Stalking
    • Children and Violence
    • Teen Dating Violence
    • Safety Planning
    • Legal
    • Help Someone You Know
  • Events
  • Volunteer
  • Contact Us
  • Donate
  • Employment Opportunities
  • Client Survey
  • Kenna's Clothing Closet
Family Shelter of Southern Oklahoma

If You or Someone You Know Has Been Sexually Assaulted

you are not at fault. you are not alone.

Our passionate and supportive staff are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to guide you through the aftermath of this traumatic experience. We can offer information and options but know the importance of you being in control of what happens next.

we are here to help

considerations after sexual violence

  • Assess your immediate safety. Call 911 if you believe you’re in direct danger. Leave any location or situation that doesn’t feel safe. Call our crisis line to seek shelter and assistance.
  • Find someone who can help you. This can be a trusted family member or friend. It can also be an advocate from our agency.
  • Seek medical care. You can get treatment for injuries from a clinic, doctor’s office, or hospital emergency department. You can seek medical care without reporting what happened to law enforcement. 
  • Consider getting a sexual assault examination, or a “rape kit.” This preserves potential DNA evidence. In the event you decide that you do want to proceed with official charges, this kit will be invaluable. An advocate can accompany you to this procedure to offer support and guidance.
  • Write down what you remember. If you decide to report the assault, this information may be helpful to you and police officers.
  • Find mental health support. You may experience some of the trauma reactions listed in the section below. Our advocates and/or licensed social worker can provide help as you cope with the impact of your assault. 
  • Figure out your next steps. Our staff can help answer any questions you may have. We can also connect you with resources you may need, including legal and medical options.

National Sexual Assault Hotline

Sexual Violence Information

Impacts of Sexual Assault

Each survivor reacts to sexual violence in their own unique way. Personal style, culture, and context of the survivor’s life may affect these reactions. Some express their emotions while others prefer to keep their feelings inside. Some may tell others right away what happened, others will wait weeks, months, or even years before discussing the assault, if they ever choose to do so. It is important to respect each person’s choices and style of coping with this traumatic event. Whether an assault was completed or attempted, and regardless of whether it happened recently or many years ago, it may impact daily functioning. A wide range of reactions can impact victims. Some common emotional, psychological and physical reactions follow.


Emotional Reactions

  • Guilt, shame, self-blame
  • Embarrassment
  • Fear, distrust
  • Sadness
  • Vulnerability
  • Isolation


Psychological reactions

  • Nightmares
  • Flashbacks
  • Depression
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)


Physical reactions

  • Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
  • Increased startle response
  • Concerns about physical safety
  • Lack of control
  • Anger
  • Numbness
  • Confusion
  • Shock, disbelief
  • Denial
  • Anxiety
  • Eating disorders
  • Substance use or abuse
  • Phobias
  • Low self esteem
  • Physical injury
  • Concerns about pregnancy or contracting an STI or HIV

Sexual Assault Myths and Facts

MYTH: Victims cause the violence that has happened to them

FACT: Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault. Rape and sexual assault are crimes of violence and control that stem from a person’s determination to exercise power over another. It doesn’t matter what someone is wearing or how they are acting, no one asks to be raped.  

MYTH: There is no reason for a victim not to report being raped to law enforcement

FACT: Rape is the least reported and convicted violence crime in the U.S. There are many reasons why victims may choose not to report to law enforcement or tell anyone about what happened to him/her. Some include:

  • concern for not being believed
  • fear of the attackers getting back at him/her
  • embarrassment or shame
  • fear of being blamed
  • pressure from others not to tell
  • distrust of law enforcement
  • belief that there is not enough evidence
  • desire to protect the attacker

MYTH: Victims who do not fight back have not been sexually assaulted

FACT: Anytime someone is forced to have sex against their will, they have been sexually assaulted, regardless of whether or not they fought back. There are many reasons why a victim might not physically fight their attacker including shock, fear, threats or the size and strength of the attacker.

MYTH: It’s not sexual assault if it happens after drinking or taking drugs

FACT: Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs is not an invitation for non-consensual sexual activity. A person under the influence of drugs or alcohol does not cause others to assault him/her; others choose to take advantage of the situation and sexually assault him/her because he/she is in a vulnerable position. 

MYTH: Rape can be avoided if people avoid dark alleys or other “dangerous” places

FACT: A sexual assault can happen anywhere and at any time. The majority of assaults occur in places ordinarily thought to be safe, such as homes, cars and offices.

MYTH: Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers. It’s not rape if the people knew each other

FACT: Most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows: a neighbor, friend, acquaintance, co-worker, classmate, spouse, partner or ex-partner. Studies show that approximately 80% of women reporting sexual assaults knew their assailant.

MYTH: Sexual assault won’t happen to me or to anyone I know

FACT: Men, women and children of all ages, races, religions, and economic classes, and can be and have been, victims of sexual assault. Sexual assault occurs in rural areas, small towns and larger cities. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, a rape or attempted rape occurs every 5 minutes in the United States.

MYTH: Sexual assault is often the result of miscommunication or a mistake

FACT: Sexual assault is a crime, never simply a mistake. It does not occur due to a miscommunication between two people. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact obtained without consent through the use of force, threat of force, intimidation, or coercion.

MYTH: Men cannot be sexually assaulted

FACT: Men can be and are victims of sexual violence. Approximately one in six men will be victims of sexual violence at some point in their lifetime. Sexual assault of men is thought to be greatly underreported. Being a victim of sexual violence does not make a man less “manly” and does not have implications for his sexual orientation.

MYTH: If a person is aroused s/he is assaulted, then it is not really sexual assault

FACT: Orgasm does not mean that someone “enjoyed” the sex, or that they wanted it. Orgasm can be a natural biological reaction that someone can’t control; it does not mean that forced or coerced sexual activity was consensual and often this is used to silence the survivor

MYTH: Women falsely accuse men of sexual assault or “cry rape.”

FACT: Reported sexual assaults are true, with very few exceptions. FBI crime statistics indicate that only 2% of reported rapes are false. This is the same rate of false reporting as other major crime reports.

MYTH: People who commit sexual assaults are mentally ill, creepy, abnormal perverts

FACT: Sexual offenders are “ordinary” and “normal” individuals who come from all educational, occupational, racial, and cultural backgrounds. You cannot pick a sex offender out of a crowd. This myth exemplifies our cultural tendency to blame victims – it is not the case that victims are assaulted because they failed to spot an obvious perpetrator


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